Mia Scissorhands

Mia has always had a fascination with plants.  From the time she could crawl she has always found a way to remove all the soil from our potted plants quicker than I could say "Miracle Grow". Now that she is older, and apparently more advanced, she has graduated to "pruning".  Mia can strip a plant bare in 30 seconds flat.  I'm talking leaves, buds and branches-- all gone.  Unfortunately, I only catch her after the deed is done, chlorophyll under her fingernails and surrounded by a sea of greenery.  The state she leaves our house plants in would make Charlie Brown's Christmas tree look like the one in Rockefeller Center.  One would expect the poor plants to be so post-traumatically stressed that they just die, but they always grow back for more.  And if anyone is looking for a sturdy flower, try marigolds.  Two minutes after they were freshly planted in the front yard, Mia ripped off half of the flower tops and they're still blooming strong, so I am looking on the bright side: Maybe this year Santa will bring my darling daughter some pruning shears and a book on topiary.

Always Be on Your Toes

Hello, All. Yes, I understand it's been a while and I agree, it is about damn time. I know my parenting follies make for great entertainment and I realize that I have an undeclared responsibility to disclose these mishappenings so that others may learn from them...or just laugh. And I'm fine with that.

Anywho, those who have children, those who might have children and those who will ever be in the company of children should all be aware of :

Rule of Parenting #1: Always Be on Your Toes.

If your kids have not bothered you with something for the past 10 minutes, don't be so quick to kick up your feet with a fruity little umbrella drink and a book. They are up to something. I repeat: THEY ARE UP TO SOMETHING.  And the smaller they are, the quicker they are. Kids can take a whole city down with 10 unsupervised minutes and a box of crayons.

The Crime

Peripheral Damage

                                                       

The Signature 

The Evidence                                                                                                                                               

                                                         

I had just taken shower and was half dressed in a shirt and panties when my 3-year-old walks into my room and says "Mommy! Where are you going with no pants on? You look like Lady Gaga!"

30-Second Fairytale

Once upon a night I had two of the seven dwarfs crawl into my bed: Sleepy and Tossy-Turney.  Usually the overgrown dwarf, Grumpy, is there but he had to work late, so I allowed the other two to occupy his space.  I began the night as Sleeping Beauty, but as the night wore on, felt more like Pinocchio, being pulled in every direction by a two-foot-tall puppet master who can't lie still.  I kept waking up and, as a result, did not sleep well and woke up like Rumplestiltskin after he found out the princess guessed his name. 

Men Suck When They're Sick

I am a firm believer that the funniest stories are the true ones. And although this clip (which I originally saw on the Dr.Phil show) is not an actual true story, it rings true for women everywhere. Watch it and laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbmbMSrsZVQ


You may also like: "Sick Day":  http://motherhoodhonestly.blogspot.com/2010/01/sick-day.html

Leila, in her excitement after seeing someone baking on television, runs to me and says, "Mommy, I want to make chocola chop-, chocola chope-, chip chocola, chocola chippy coke-,  cook-,  chocola chippy chop cookies!"

Today, It's About Me!

I saw this on another blog (obviously with someone else's answers) and decided to fill it out today.  If you have a few minutes, you should do the same. I'd love to read your thoughts as well.


-I am... a woman who wears many hats.

-I think... I am a good people-reader.

-I should... write a book.

-I dream... of being a guest on Oprah before her show goes off the air. Maybe for writing that book! :)

-I want... to fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes A.S.A.P.

-I know... I have a lot of work to do before that happens!

-I don't like... inconsiderate people. I could go on for days giving examples, so I will just leave it at that.

-I smell... coffee.

-I hear... the birds outside (read: my kids are sleeping).

-I fear... losing who I am in this whole process.

-I usually... look forward to my kids' bedtime.  C'mon, parents, you know you do too.

-I search... for new ways of doing old things online, and I LIVE for Real Simple magazine.

-I miss... the "dating" stage of my relationship.

-I always... try to find the humor in a situation. It may not always be appropriate, but it's almost always funny.

-I regret... not doing my homework in college. Those B's could have been A's.

-I wonder... how my girls will turn out as adults. Only then will I truly know how good a mother I am.

-I crave... tortilla chips and salsa.

-I remember... a time when I always second-guessed myself.  Those days are over.

-I need... validation.

-I forget... a lot of things these days, but never the things my husband does wrong  ;)

-I feel... like I can conquer the world when the sun is out.  Rainy days, fughettaboutit.

-I can... get a lot more done throughout the day if I have a little help.

-I can't... make something to eat just for myself anymore.  Not even a cup of coffee.  Hi, I'm Cinderella, nice to meet you.

-I am happy... spending time with the people I love. Unless they're making a mess that I will have to clean up later. That does not make me happy.

-I lose... EVERYTHING lately!  I don't know what's wrong with me.

-I sing... in the car.  And after I watch American Idol. I get inspired.

-I listen... very well.  Hubby and kids, on the other hand, not so much.

-I shop... way less than I used to.  Damned priorities.

-I eat... healthy meals.  Now if I could only do some healthy exercising... maybe tomorrow.

-I love... being happy.