"Sick" Day

My poor husband is sick, and has been for a few days now.  He has some sort of stubborn chest-mucous thing coupled with a cough, a runny nose and a self-inflicted sore throat. I say the sore throat is self-inflicted because I am almost positive that if he didn't go "hwaAAAAAA hwAAAAA HOOAH HOOAH HWwwwwwwak **gag** TO!" every time he wants to get rid of some mucous, his throat wouldn't be so raw.  Since he first came down with this whatever-it-is, it has sounded like a construction site in here.  I'm sure he now has the same thing I had a couple weeks ago, and maybe it was just me, but it wasn't that serious.  Okay, a clogged chest that ripples inside when you breathe is annoying, but it's not the end of the world.  And to see such a big guy act like such a baby is actually a little amusing.

But regardless, I let him dramatize to his heart's content because, all in all, he doesn't feel well. So I let him lie on the couch like a sloth while I wash, fold, and put away multiple loads of laundry, take care of the kids (meanwhile when I'm sick, I am still designated caregiver, but whatever), make homemade tomato soup and grilled cheese and countless cups of tea.  I was beginning to feel bad for him when I began to notice that every time I looked at him wrapped in a blanket like a burrito (a very large burrito) he looked sicker and sicker as he wafted in and out of sleep.

Dinner was ready early, around 4 p.m., and after he had sipped his soup and eaten his grilled cheese he hops up out of his chair and says, "I'm going to Tony's."

"For what?!" I say.

"To get my tattoo worked on."

I'm not sure what he might have said after that because the blood boiling in my ears interfered with my hearing, but I do remember myself saying something along the lines of, "Muthafugga, you just sat around the house and watched me do all the work today because you were 'too sick' and now you're gonna go get a friggin' TATTOO?!"

He claimed the tomato soup made him feel better. I had half the mind to make him regurgitate it. But I was tired and didn't feel like cleaning up the mess.