1. You will need to become an expert at the guessing game. (Why are you crying?, What are you saying?, What did you just do??, Where did you hide my keys?!?, etc.)
2. You will spend the next few years trying to reclaim your bed.
3. Stepping on small toys in your bare feet is the equivalent of stepping on sharpened knives in your bare feet.
4. Toys that make noise are the devil's spawn.
5. Toddlers do not hear the word "no" until it has been said a minimum of 3 times, and will not react to it until you actually get up.
6. Younger toddlers do not understand the concept of "wait" and will whine and cry the entire time you're making a meal because, according to them, you're not moving fast enough. (Or, maybe that's just my kid.)
7. You will never be able to cook for just yourself ever again.
8. Learn to like the taste of cold coffee. You will not be able to finish a cup of coffee while it's still hot for the next few years. Better yet, look into caffeine injections, they might serve you better.
9. Toddlers are as mischievous as they are cute. Consider yourself warned.
10. Bedtime for them will be the most joyous part of your day.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
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When my younger brother was born, my mother said some of these very same things, and here I thought she was exaggerating...
ReplyDeletePhil, we couldn't make this stuff up if we tried.
ReplyDelete